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Favorite/Random Quotes from TV/Movies

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ChipEstenismyhusband
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Post: 26   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:22 pm   Reply with quote

I watched this last night on Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza and I can't stop laughing:

Drew: How long have you guys been married?
Genie: 43 years.
Drew: Got any 44-year-olds still laying around the house with no job?
Genie: No, the oldest child is 49 and the youngest is 48.
*Jonathan cracks up and Jeff tries to do the math*
Drew: So Genie and Jim. Jim, do you have any pet names for Genie?
Jim: Not that I can tell you on air.
Jeff: How would you describe her? What one word or phrase comes to mind?
Jim: Horny.
Jeff: Horny... *cracks up*

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Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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bicyclelegs
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Post: 27   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:13 pm   Reply with quote

From Blackadder II:

Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
Baldrick: Some beans.
BA: Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?
B: A very small casserole.
BA: Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?
B: Three
BA: What?
B: And that one.
BA: Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
B: Oh! Some beans.
BA: Yes. To you Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that happened to other people wasn't it?

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Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 28   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:00 pm   Reply with quote

Milhouse on the Simpsons: "But my mom says I'm cool!"
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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KittyCatzMeow
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Post: 29   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:12 pm   Reply with quote

"Are you a fan of delicious flavor?"
~Psych

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bicyclelegs
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Post: 30   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:37 pm   Reply with quote

Ralph Wiggum hopped up on sugar: "I'm happy and angry!"
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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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GiveASpam
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Post: 31   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:17 pm   Reply with quote

Gary: Oh, some brownies... of the pot variety. *creepy smile*

-- Hall Pass

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JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
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Yogurt Congelado
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Post: 32   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:16 pm   Reply with quote

Darkwing: You, are not a well person!
MegaVolt: What, and you're normal? *imitates him* "I am the cold soar that stings your lip"?! We are seriously talking demented here.

~Darkwing Duck

_________________
I am the daughter of a mutant plant duck, sister to a madman, evil pikachu, mallard menace and gizmo-laced hero of the future, dark witch that serves a villain, bender of weather, howl at the moon, and pony that scorches the sky...man thats a mouthfull!

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bicyclelegs
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Post: 33   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:20 pm   Reply with quote

From Red Dwarf:

Kryten: Who would permit this man, this joke of a man, this man who
could not outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might
endanger the entire crew? Who? Only a YOGURT. This man is not
guilty of manslaughter, he is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer.
That is his crime, it is also his punishment. The defence rests.

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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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GiveASpam
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Post: 34   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:00 pm   Reply with quote

(at the grocery store)

Toki: What's this place called?

Skwisgaar: This is, I believes, called food libraries.

--Metalocalypse

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
-- Pickles the Drummer

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bicyclelegs
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Post: 35   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:30 pm   Reply with quote

Squidward: "Patrick, how stupid are you??" Patrick: "It varies."
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Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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GiveASpam
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Post: 36   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:16 pm   Reply with quote

Dang, now I want to quote some SpongeBob!

SB: Hey Patrick, are you angry, too?
Patrick: Yeah.
SB: What's the matter?
Patrick: I CAN'T SEE MY FOREHEAD.

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
-- Pickles the Drummer

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KittyCatzMeow
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Post: 37   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:02 pm   Reply with quote

Spongebob: "I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week when watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 20 minutes."
Very Happy

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GiveASpam
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Post: 38   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:53 pm   Reply with quote

Eddy: Jonny, your face fell off! I'll get you a new one!

^^^ I don't think this is such a popular opinion, but to me, that was Eddy's "crowning moment of funny". I laughed sooooo hard.

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
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KittyCatzMeow
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Post: 39   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:06 am   Reply with quote

Patrick: "Stupid inflatable pants!"
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GiveASpam
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Post: 40   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:26 am   Reply with quote

SpongeBob: I AM UGLY AND I'M PROUD! I AM UGLY AND I'M PROUD!

Squidward: Is that what he calls it?

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 41   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:02 am   Reply with quote

From the original TV series of "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy":

Slartibartfast: Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day.
Arthur Dent: And are you?
Slartibartfast: Ah, no.
[laughs, snorts]
Slartibartfast: Well, that's where it all falls down, of course.

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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
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Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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GiveASpam
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 42   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:27 am   Reply with quote

Dib: You're just jealous.

Zim: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH JELLY!

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
-- Pickles the Drummer

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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Post: 43   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:43 pm   Reply with quote

Drew: (SFAH) Lying about a stain at the dry cleaner's.
Wayne: *holds up invisible shirt* Um, it's ice cream.
Ryan: Oh. Look's like a bit of pizza on there as well.

_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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KittyCatzMeow
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Post: 44   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:24 pm   Reply with quote

Mr. Krabs: "I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly."
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GiveASpam
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Post: 45   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:34 pm   Reply with quote

Mario: You didn't tell me you were bringing a secret weapon, Luigi!

Luigi: That's MAMA LUIGI to you, Mario!

-- Super Mario Land 3
(Whose brain fell out and let this show be made?!)

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"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
-- Pickles the Drummer

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KittyCatzMeow
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Post: 46   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:14 pm   Reply with quote

Coincidence?? I think NOT!!
~The Incredibles
(This quote has been stuck in my head since the first time I saw that movie. I don't know why...it's weird lol)

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GiveASpam
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 47   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:48 pm   Reply with quote

Skwisgaar: Go have a conversation with all the ladies and tell them your problems.

Toki: You lady, Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar: NO I NOT!

--Metalocalypse

_________________
"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU 5 MILLION DOLLARS
JUST TO GET BACK IN MY BAAANNNNNNDDDD?"
-- Pickles the Drummer

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Yogurt Congelado
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Post: 48   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:59 pm   Reply with quote

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: Well I think so Brain but, no no, its too stupid.

Brain: We're going to disguise ourselves as a cow.

Pinky: Narf! That was it exactly.

~Pinky and the Brain

_________________
I am the daughter of a mutant plant duck, sister to a madman, evil pikachu, mallard menace and gizmo-laced hero of the future, dark witch that serves a villain, bender of weather, howl at the moon, and pony that scorches the sky...man thats a mouthfull!

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GiveASpam
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 49   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:13 pm   Reply with quote

Skwisgaar (to elderly woman): Guess what, you are a GMILF. That is a grandmother I would like to-- *scene cuts out*
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-- Pickles the Drummer

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bicyclelegs
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Post: 50   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:57 pm   Reply with quote

Matthias: "Look, I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'"
Life of Brian.

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Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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