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World's Worst art instructor

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 26   Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:38 am   Reply with quote

"There was a terrible accident on Highway 4 a few minutes ago. We're all heading over there now to see who can draw the most gory picture of it."
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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 27   Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:16 am   Reply with quote

Lesson number one: the line. Now, when you start drawing your line...
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 28   Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:08 am   Reply with quote

"Don't you think the sun would look better if you painted it blue?"
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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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A Few Chuckles
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Post: 29   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:01 am   Reply with quote

Now, what's this thing called again? Oh yeah, a paintbrush.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 30   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:21 am   Reply with quote

"Once you've dipped your brush in the turpentine, have a little sip of it. Tastes great, doesn't it?"
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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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A Few Chuckles
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Post: 31   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:06 am   Reply with quote

Now, these are actually very good paints, so use them lightly. Coincidentally actually, they're a useful aphrodisiac, so if you wouldn't mind handing them all back to me at the end of the lesson...
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 32   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:11 pm   Reply with quote

This is special paint. If you huff it, you get high and see dead people.
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A Few Chuckles
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Post: 33   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:34 pm   Reply with quote

Well done is class today, guys. But just make sure that your work is never, ever better than mine. Otherwise, I will burn it.
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cwjakesteel
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Post: 34   Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 4:36 pm   Reply with quote

With my teaching, you'll paint even better than Mozart!
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 35   Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 8:25 am   Reply with quote

I'd tell you students to draw nude self-portraits as homework for the next class, but I fear you'll all exaggerate the size of certain body parts.
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cwjakesteel
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Post: 36   Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:48 pm   Reply with quote

ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF wrote:
I'd tell you students to draw nude self-portraits as homework for the next class, but I fear you'll all exaggerate the size of certain body parts.


Actually, on second thought, let's just all draw me! First, imagine me naked all this week. Class dismissed.

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Posts: 11057 Topics: 49
Location: Montreal!
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Post: 37   Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:58 pm   Reply with quote

Today we're doing landscape paintings outside, and you're not allowed to wear your jackets and coats. Yes, I know it's 40 below, but you have to suffer to create great art.
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Last edited by ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF on Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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