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World's Worst fitness instructor

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
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Post: 26   Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:54 pm   Reply with quote

"Yo mama's so fat..."
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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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votes: 9

Post: 27   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:45 am   Reply with quote

"For every push up, you get an extra marshmallow."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
Improv Master



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2017
Posts: 4695 Topics: 18
Location: Jamaica
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Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 28   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:32 pm   Reply with quote

"Let's walk to ice-cream store. It's a habitual route."
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Dinkleberg....

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 06 Jun 2017
Posts: 11057 Topics: 49
Location: Montreal!
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votes: 9

Post: 29   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:41 pm   Reply with quote

*lays down on a couch* "Okay, class, do jumping jacks for the next 30 minutes while I rest here."
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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bicyclelegs
Moderator
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 10313 Topics: 11
Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Reputation: 2444.7
votes: 9

Post: 30   Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:40 pm   Reply with quote

"Hey, if the cat in this poster can 'hang in there, baby', so can you!"
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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Davidellias
Sit Down Comedian
Sit Down Comedian




Joined: 25 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 30 Apr 2014
Posts: 52 Topics: 2
Location: a place that thinks Larry the Cable Guy is funny, HELP I WANT TO ESCASPE!
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Post: 31   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:57 pm   Reply with quote

Hi, I am Drew Carey.....
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the Username formerly known as Username

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
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Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
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Location: Jamaica
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Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 32   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:44 pm   Reply with quote

Davidellias wrote:
Hi, I am Drew Carey.....


*applauds*

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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 10313 Topics: 11
Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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votes: 9

Post: 33   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:58 pm   Reply with quote

"Welcome to 'Get Fit Shagging The Instructor'. I'm the instructor..."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 34   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:36 pm   Reply with quote

"I'm going to be eating cheeseburgers in front of you during each class, so you can learn how to resist temptation."
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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Joe Tee
Sit Down Comedian
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Post: 35   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:22 pm   Reply with quote

Donut curls!
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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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votes: 9

Post: 36   Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:48 pm   Reply with quote

"Welcome to 'Lose Weight Through Regurgitation'."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
Improv Master



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2017
Posts: 4695 Topics: 18
Location: Jamaica
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Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 37   Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:32 pm   Reply with quote

"Ever heard of dieting? No? I thought so. Fatty."
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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 10313 Topics: 11
Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Reputation: 2444.7
votes: 9

Post: 38   Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:28 am   Reply with quote

"The more laxatives you take, the thinner you'll get..."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
Improv Master



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2017
Posts: 4695 Topics: 18
Location: Jamaica
jm.gif

Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 39   Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:50 pm   Reply with quote

"How am I so slender? Carrots. How do I use them? Well...I'd need to know your age first."
_________________
Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
Moderator
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 10313 Topics: 11
Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Reputation: 2444.7
votes: 9

Post: 40   Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:51 am   Reply with quote

"I know this is a small exercise room, so it's probably only fair to warn you that I've eaten an awful lot of beans for lunch."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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echoes
Cheers 'n' Jeers
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Post: 41   Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:11 pm   Reply with quote

Gimme another 20 or I eat your kids in front of you or did you not want to watch?
_________________
- I need a job.
- Don't be disgusting!

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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
A Few Chuckles



Gender: Gender:Male
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Last Visit: 28 Apr 2012
Posts: 400 Topics: 1
Location: Western Australia
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Post: 42   Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:03 am   Reply with quote

Okay, so let's get started now... woah, you guys are fat!
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 43   Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:33 pm   Reply with quote

"You can only use our exercise equipment if you weigh under 140 pounds."
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
A Few Chuckles



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Post: 44   Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:26 am   Reply with quote

And bend, and stretch, and bend, and stretch, and... crap, what comes next?

Last edited by QZ4 on Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
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Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2017
Posts: 4695 Topics: 18
Location: Jamaica
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Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 45   Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:35 pm   Reply with quote

Okay everyone, let's do curls.

*sits on chair awaiting barber*

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Dinkleberg....

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 46   Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:22 pm   Reply with quote

"Whoever loses the least amount of weight in the next 4 weeks gets Fatty of the Year award."
_________________
"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
Improv Master



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2017
Posts: 4695 Topics: 18
Location: Jamaica
jm.gif

Reputation: 1542.1
votes: 18

Post: 47   Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:48 pm   Reply with quote

"You see this body? You can't get this without proper diet. Now who wants ice-cream!?" *becomes short of breath*
_________________
Dinkleberg....


Last edited by cwjakesteel on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
A Few Chuckles



Gender: Gender:Male
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Location: Western Australia
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Post: 48   Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:44 am   Reply with quote

You know, in the months to come, you'll be laughing at how much weight you will have lost. In fact, I think I'll start laughing right now.
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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Post: 49   Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:14 am   Reply with quote

"Class, the best motivation for getting into shape is to think of someone you want to look good for, naked. Hold on just one second."

*hangs up poster of Christopher Walken*

_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 24
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Post: 50   Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:18 am   Reply with quote

bicyclelegs wrote:
"No, don't fight the flab, use compelling debate points to convince it to leave of its own accord."


Very Happy

_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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