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World's Worst fitness instructor

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 1   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 1:10 pm   World's Worst fitness instructor Reply with quote

Okay, now we'll be doing butt exercises. Squeeze your left buttcheek. Now your right one. Left. Right. Left. Right.
Now I want you to repeat this every day for 15 minutes.

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joyefulsong
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Post: 2   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:08 pm   Reply with quote

I'd show you how to do lunges but I forgot to wear underwear.
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 3   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:26 pm   Reply with quote

Okay, class. Whichever one of you fatties loses the most weight between now and the next class will get 3 cones of ice cream as a reward!
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Magnus D
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Post: 4   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:44 pm   Reply with quote

Hi, I'm Richard Simmons!
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DriftyAlison0
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Post: 5   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:04 pm   Reply with quote

Hi everyone! In today's exercise is how to exercise your breasts and penis.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 6   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:16 pm   Reply with quote

F**k it, let's go get McDonalds!
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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 7   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:20 pm   Reply with quote

Today we learn to exercise your fingers by typing and by clicking a computer mouse.
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cwjakesteel
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Post: 8   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:38 pm   Reply with quote

Hello everyone, and thank you for participating in Fitness to the stars. Today we'll work on our personalities.
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Dinkleberg....

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 9   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:40 pm   Reply with quote

If you can't touch your toes, I'm throwing you out of the class.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 10   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:02 pm   Reply with quote

"And bend, and stretch, and bend, and... ZZZZZZZZZZ!"
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Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 11   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:29 pm   Reply with quote

Nope, I've never heard of triceps muscles. Why do you ask?
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 12   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:09 pm   Reply with quote

"No, don't fight the flab, use compelling debate points to convince it to leave of its own accord."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
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Post: 13   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:05 pm   Reply with quote

"It's all mind over matter. Just sit down and think about it. It'll come to you. I promise."
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Dinkleberg....

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Post: 14   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:49 pm   Reply with quote

Today I'll teach your hair how to exercise.
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cwjakesteel
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Post: 15   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:35 pm   Reply with quote

"No, you're not ugly. No, you're not hideous. Yes, you can lose weight. Can we move on now?"
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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Post: 16   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:00 pm   Reply with quote

"I'll help you lose weight in just a minute". Into phone: "Yes, I said extra bacon and extra meatballs. And the crust better be cheese stuffed!"
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 17   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:52 pm   Reply with quote

"Our gym consists of nothing but giant hamster wheels."
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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bicyclelegs
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Post: 18   Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:19 pm   Reply with quote

"Welcome to 'Hansel & Gretel Gyms', where all the exercise equipment is made of candy!"
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 19   Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:08 pm   Reply with quote

"Sugar is the best thing for your muscles. It helps attach them to the bones."
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joyefulsong
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Post: 20   Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:18 pm   Reply with quote

Well, eating does work out your jaw muscles.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 21   Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:40 pm   Reply with quote

"Welcome to fitness class, everyone." *looks at watch* "Well, that's all we have time for today..."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
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Gender: Gender:Male
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Post: 22   Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:30 pm   Reply with quote

"You all walked here right? Well my work here is done."
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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Post: 23   Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:38 pm   Reply with quote

"Sorry, I can't train you now, 'Jerry Springer' has just started."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Last Visit: 06 Jun 2017
Posts: 11057 Topics: 49
Location: Montreal!
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Reputation: 3345.5
votes: 9

Post: 24   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:07 pm   Reply with quote

Instructor: "I can say one word that'll make fitness totally unnecessary!"
Class: "What?"
Instructor: "Liposuction."

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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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bicyclelegs
Moderator
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 10313 Topics: 11
Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Reputation: 2444.7
votes: 9

Post: 25   Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:03 pm   Reply with quote

"Don't forget to eat at least a kilo of prunes every day."
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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