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World's Worst Facebook Statuses

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XVioletBlazeX
Heckler
Heckler



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Last Visit: 19 Jun 2017
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Post: 276   Posted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:35 am   Reply with quote

Friday's philosophical question: why are manatees called 'sea cows'?
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It's my party and I'll be crap if I want to - Tony Slattery
~Party Quirks~
Jim (Gets Everything Wrong): "I just popped around for the, uh...funeral?"
Tony: "...Well, I could kill someone if you'd like."

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
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Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
Reputation: 948.9
votes: 1

Post: 277   Posted: Fri May 03, 2013 5:22 pm   Reply with quote

I coughed and I think I shit my pants while doing that and here is a picture of my pants to see what you guys think *shows pic* did I shit my pants or was it something else?
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If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you


Last edited by DriftyAlison0 on Fri May 03, 2013 5:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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XVioletBlazeX
Heckler
Heckler



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Last Visit: 19 Jun 2017
Posts: 24 Topics: 0

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Reputation: 8.5

Post: 278   Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 12:37 am   Reply with quote

I have nothing to say. I'm just bored.
_________________
It's my party and I'll be crap if I want to - Tony Slattery
~Party Quirks~
Jim (Gets Everything Wrong): "I just popped around for the, uh...funeral?"
Tony: "...Well, I could kill someone if you'd like."

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
Nobody Laughs



Gender: Gender:Female Age: 30
Joined: 27 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 25 Jun 2017
Posts: 237 Topics: 8
Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
Reputation: 948.9
votes: 1

Post: 279   Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 2:50 pm   Reply with quote

Who wants to watch me pee my pants?
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If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you

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XVioletBlazeX
Heckler
Heckler



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Last Visit: 19 Jun 2017
Posts: 24 Topics: 0

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Reputation: 8.5

Post: 280   Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 5:24 am   Reply with quote

Does anybody have any tips on castrating husbands?
_________________
It's my party and I'll be crap if I want to - Tony Slattery
~Party Quirks~
Jim (Gets Everything Wrong): "I just popped around for the, uh...funeral?"
Tony: "...Well, I could kill someone if you'd like."

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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 24
Joined: 22 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 02 Jun 2014
Posts: 7026 Topics: 9
Location: Washington
Reputation: 1724.9
votes: 11

Post: 281   Posted: Mon May 06, 2013 1:21 am   Reply with quote

Well, my armpits are due for a shave.
_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.


Last edited by ChipEstenismyhusband on Mon May 06, 2013 1:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
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Gender: Gender:Male
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Location: Jamaica
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Post: 282   Posted: Mon May 06, 2013 9:53 pm   Reply with quote

This thread topic should be changed to "Typical Facebook Statuses" Laughing
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Dinkleberg....

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XVioletBlazeX
Heckler
Heckler



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Last Visit: 19 Jun 2017
Posts: 24 Topics: 0

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Reputation: 8.5

Post: 283   Posted: Wed May 08, 2013 1:54 pm   Reply with quote

Can anybody give me directions on how to get on Route 66?
_________________
It's my party and I'll be crap if I want to - Tony Slattery
~Party Quirks~
Jim (Gets Everything Wrong): "I just popped around for the, uh...funeral?"
Tony: "...Well, I could kill someone if you'd like."

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
Nobody Laughs



Gender: Gender:Female Age: 30
Joined: 27 Jan 2012
Last Visit: 25 Jun 2017
Posts: 237 Topics: 8
Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
Reputation: 948.9
votes: 1

Post: 284   Posted: Thu May 09, 2013 10:42 am   Reply with quote

Could anyone help me wax my pubic hair?
_________________
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you

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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 24
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Posts: 7026 Topics: 9
Location: Washington
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votes: 11

Post: 285   Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 6:33 pm   Reply with quote

Eating some good mice cream after my tonsil procedure.
_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Last Visit: 06 Jun 2017
Posts: 11057 Topics: 49
Location: Montreal!
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Post: 286   Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 7:33 pm   Reply with quote

How do I get cockroach legs out of my teeth?
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Last Visit: 17 Jun 2014
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Post: 287   Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 5:11 pm   Reply with quote

*reply* You floss with fly's wings, obviously.
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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cwjakesteel
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Location: Jamaica
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Post: 288   Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:06 pm   Reply with quote

*reply* #yoloswag
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Dinkleberg....


Last edited by cwjakesteel on Wed May 29, 2013 12:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ChipEstenismyhusband
Improv Emperor
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 24
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Last Visit: 02 Jun 2014
Posts: 7026 Topics: 9
Location: Washington
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votes: 11

Post: 289   Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:52 am   Reply with quote

^lol
_________________
Chip: He's the farmer's daughter's father.
Drew: In other words, the farmer.
Chip: Do I even get one point?
Drew: No.

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 30
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Posts: 237 Topics: 8
Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
Reputation: 948.9
votes: 1

Post: 290   Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 9:58 pm   Reply with quote

Anyone want to do it with my 3ds xl?
_________________
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 291   Posted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:49 am   Reply with quote

I barbecued naked and now I have burns all over my body. Should I see a doctor? Should I put on some clothes first?
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Post: 292   Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:01 am   Reply with quote

Even Farmville has de-friended me. Sad
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 30
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Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
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votes: 1

Post: 293   Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:52 am   Reply with quote

I created my new page dedicated to my cat's poop.
_________________
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 294   Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:04 pm   Reply with quote

If this status gets 20 likes, I'll upload a video of myself eating cookies with worms in them.
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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cwjakesteel
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Post: 295   Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:05 pm   Reply with quote

If this status gets 10 likes, I'll donate my right butt cheek to Justin Beiber #cut4beiber
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Dinkleberg....

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bicyclelegs
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Gender: Gender:Male Age: 46
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Location: Rochedale South, QLD, Australia
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Post: 296   Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:25 am   Reply with quote

Has anyone seen my house keys?
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Location: Montreal!
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Post: 297   Posted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:43 am   Reply with quote

I had to change my PIN number for my bank card today. I changed it from 6978 to 6780.
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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cwjakesteel
Improv Master
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Gender: Gender:Male
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Location: Jamaica
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votes: 18

Post: 298   Posted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:26 pm   Reply with quote

*reply* Even when they ask me to change it for theft, I always keep it as my birthday.
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Dinkleberg....

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DriftyAlison0
Nobody Laughs
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Gender: Gender:Female Age: 30
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Post: 299   Posted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:09 pm   Reply with quote

*reply* I always use my phone number. 333-2211
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If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you

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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Gender: Gender:Female
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Posts: 11057 Topics: 49
Location: Montreal!
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votes: 9

Post: 300   Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 7:19 am   Reply with quote

Anyone wanna have a contest? We keep eating as many chocolate bars as possible, and the last one to puke wins. I'll hold it at my house today at 7. Please come and bring your own chocolate bars.
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"500 points a peach." - Drew Carey

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