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World's Worst: Psychiatrist

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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 1   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:21 am   World's Worst: Psychiatrist Reply with quote

I'm sure you all know what to do, just post as you come up with examples of the world's worst psychiatrist.

...

Now, I want you to know I'm not going to force you to do or say anything here. Apart from paying up front. And a little bit of a tip wouldn't be so bad once in a while, either.

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echoes
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Post: 2   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:56 am   Reply with quote

If it really feels like the right thing to do, why not kill yourself today? I'm clearly delaying the inevitable here.
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QZ4
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Post: 3   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:58 am   Reply with quote

Well, it seems to me the only mental illness you seem to be suffering from is stupidity.
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 4   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:07 pm   Reply with quote

You look too happy today. Are you sure you've been taking your meds?

(True story, happened to my mom)

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echoes
Cheers 'n' Jeers
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Post: 5   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:59 pm   Reply with quote

Yep, yep, depression, lack of sleep, yep, that's all good but going back to your little boy - Does he like to take his time with lozenges? He does? Mm mm mm
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 6   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:10 pm   Reply with quote

I can diagnose your mental illness by taking a urine sample.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 7   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:33 pm   Reply with quote

Shut up! I've had a hard time too, you know!
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QZ4
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Post: 8   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:26 pm   Reply with quote

Oh, wow, you're properly messed up, aren't you? I mean, I've seen some nut cases in my time, but you're something else.
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ChipEstenismyhusband
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Post: 9   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:31 pm   Reply with quote

Do you think there's room for me on that couch?
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QZ4
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Post: 10   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:32 pm   Reply with quote

You know, Mr. Smith, it's not paranoia if all these people really are out to get you.
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ChipEstenismyhusband
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Post: 11   Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:45 pm   Reply with quote

Oh drat, I forgot my clipboard. Oh well, we'll do without it. Wait a minute... wasn't I supposed to pick someone up a couple hours ago? Yeah my son. Nevermind, let's just start, Mrs. ....could you say your last name again?
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QZ4
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Post: 12   Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:50 am   Reply with quote

Um, look, I'm kinda new to this, so how about you just talk all these drugs and tell me how everything works out.
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 13   Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:59 am   Reply with quote

You know, if you were more attractive, maybe you wouldn't have self-esteem issues and mental problems.
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QZ4
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Post: 14   Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:19 am   Reply with quote

My brother had some real suicide issues, you know. He said the only way to ever overcome his problems was through suicide. But anyway...
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ChesterfieldSnapdragonMcF
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Post: 15   Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:37 am   Reply with quote

Depressed? Snap out of it! There's plenty to be happy about.
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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
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Gender: Gender:Male
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Post: 16   Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 7:49 pm   Reply with quote

Well, we've certainly got some interesting results here, ahahahhaha. No, but on a more serious note, you've been diagnosed with manic depression.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 17   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:48 am   Reply with quote

What *slap* the *slap* hell's *slap* wrong *slap* with *slap* you *slap*?
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Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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QZ4
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Post: 18   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 2:36 am   Reply with quote

You stand there, and let's see how many of these strange pills I can chuck into your mouth.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 19   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:40 am   Reply with quote

Take down your trousers, please.
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Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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QZ4
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Post: 20   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:02 am   Reply with quote

Do you want to change your session to in an hour's time? I just popped a few of these pills, and I'm having a pretty wild trip right now.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 21   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:26 am   Reply with quote

I'd like you to join my study of the psychotherapeutic effects of enemas.
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
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Post: 22   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:33 am   Reply with quote

Well, I think you're fine. Well, apart from the insanity, and depression, and anger, and other physical and/or mental issues.
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 23   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:35 am   Reply with quote

They say depression is anger turned inward. Why don't you try turning it outward with, say, a killing spree?
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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QZ4
A Few Chuckles
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Gender: Gender:Male
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Location: Western Australia
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Post: 24   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:35 am   Reply with quote

Wow, nobody's made me laugh so much before!

Last edited by QZ4 on Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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bicyclelegs
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Post: 25   Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:36 am   Reply with quote

I still wet the bed too, but you don't hear me bragging about it!
_________________
Fry: Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!

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